The Sandwich Generation

If you have ever felt like you are doing school lunches, work deadlines and aged care admin all in the same hour, you might be living the classic sandwich generation experience. It can be meaningful and even rewarding at times, but it can also feel like being permanently “on call” for everyone else.

What is the sandwich generation?

The “sandwich generation” usually refers to adults who are supporting a younger generation (children or financially dependent adult children) while also supporting an older generation (ageing parents, or other older relatives who need help). Support can be hands on care, coordination (appointments, transport, paperwork), emotional support, and often financial support too. Pew Research has tracked this in the US and found it is common in midlife, with more than half of Americans in their 40s meeting their definition of being “sandwiched” between an older parent and children.

Even if the label feels very American, the underlying pressures are not. Across many countries, more people are living longer, having children later, and relying more on family for care.

Why it feels tougher than it used to

A few big forces are squeezing the middle years.

1) Ageing populations and more complex care needs
Longer lives can be a gift, but it can also mean more years where parents need support with health, mobility, transport, or daily living.

2) Kids taking longer to “launch”
Higher housing costs, longer study pathways, and a tougher entry into secure work can mean adult children need help for longer.

3) Unpaid care is still not shared evenly
Globally, women do significantly more unpaid care work than men, on average. The United Nations (UN) Women estimates women do about 2.5 times more unpaid care work per day.
The International Labor Organization (ILO) estimates unpaid care responsibilities keep huge numbers of women out of the labour force worldwide.
That matters because it shapes who is most likely to cut hours, turn down promotions, or carry the invisible mental load.

4) Work has not magically slowed down to make room for caring
Many people are trying to maintain performance at work while carrying a second shift at home. This is where burnout can creep in.

What it can cost (beyond time)

Time and decision fatigue
It is not just the hours spent caring, it is the constant switching: parent, partner, employee, carer, scheduler, negotiator.

Money pressure
Caregiving can hit budgets directly (medical costs, transport, home modifications) and indirectly (reduced hours, stalled career progression). In the US, AARP reports that many caregivers experience negative financial impacts and that a large share are balancing care with paid work.

Health and wellbeing
Caregivers are more likely to report poorer health and loneliness than non-carers in Australian survey reporting collated by the Australian Institute of Health & Welfare (AIHW).
And globally, the mental load is real: an umbrella review of meta analyses reported median prevalence around one third for depression and anxiety among informal caregivers, with caregiver burden commonly reported, although rates vary widely by context and measurement.

Relationships
When you are stretched thin, it is easy for resentment to build, especially if siblings, partners, or workplaces do not share the load fairly.

Practical strategies that actually help

Think of this as reducing friction, not achieving perfection.

1) Do a “care audit” (so it is not all in your head)

Write down everything you do in a typical week for kids and for parents: transport, calls, appointments, forms, shopping, emotional support, and the late night worrying. This turns a vague sense of overwhelm into a visible list that can be shared and redistributed.

A simple rule: if it can be done by someone else, it should not automatically default to you.

2) Build a small care team (even if it is informal)

A care team can include siblings, partners, neighbours, trusted friends, and paid services where possible. The key is clarity:

  • Who does medical appointments and medication tracking?

  • Who does bills and paperwork?

  • Who checks in midweek?

  • Who is the emergency contact?

If you have siblings, try to assign tasks based on strengths and proximity, not tradition or guilt.

3) Have the “awkward but necessary” money conversation

Money stress often comes from uncertainty, not just dollars.

With parents, gentle topics to cover include:

  • What support do they want now, and what do they fear later?

  • Key documents and where they are stored

  • A realistic view of costs and who pays for what

With adult kids:

  • What support is on the table (and what is not)

  • Time limits or milestones (for example, “We can help with rent for three months while you find work”)

Boundaries are not unkind. They are what keeps support sustainable.

4) Use workplace flexibility strategically (and know your entitlements)

If you are employed, your workplace can be part of the solution. Even small changes help: start time shifts, compressed weeks, partial work from home, meeting free blocks for appointments.

In Australia, employees have access to paid personal and carers leave (and casuals have unpaid carers leave), with details outlined by the Fair Work Ombudsman.
If you are comfortable, talk to your manager early, before you are in crisis mode. Frame it around stability: “With a predictable arrangement, I can keep delivering.”

5) Protect your energy like it is a budget

Most sandwich generation people try to solve a capacity problem with effort. It works, until it does not.

A few low drama habits:

  • Book recovery time after high demand days (even 30 minutes)

  • Use checklists and templates for recurring admin

  • Accept “good enough” in low stakes areas

  • Keep one activity each week that is only for you (movement, coffee with a friend, sport, reading)

If stress, low mood, or sleep issues are building, consider talking to your GP or a mental health professional. Early support is far easier than a full burnout recovery.

6) Make “future you” a little job easier

A small amount of planning now reduces panic later:

  • Create a shared folder (digital or paper) with key contacts, medications, Medicare details, school info, and important documents

  • Keep an emergency plan for kids and parents (who to call, who can pick up, who has keys)

  • Consider legal and financial advice for enduring powers of attorney, advance care planning, wills, and major care decisions (especially if family dynamics are complex)

What good support looks like (for workplaces and communities)

At a bigger level, the sandwich generation does best when systems recognise caring as normal, not exceptional. OECD analysis highlights that many countries use policy levers like care leave entitlements and cash benefits to support informal carers, though coverage and adequacy vary.

In workplaces, practical supports often include:

  • Flexible work as a standard option, not a special favour

  • Clear carers leave information

  • Employee assistance programs and manager training on carer conversations

  • Normalising life stage pressure, especially for midlife employees who are often key knowledge holders

Date: June 26; Chris Rabba